Rebellious Jukebox XXX: Cal & The Calories vs Strangulated Beatoffs

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This month marks the debut of the “wordpress only” version of the Rebellious Jukebox, & who better to christen this new era of Rebellious Jukeboxiness than a bunch of weirdos? Enjoy! For those of you new to the RJ, each month I review a recently released St Louis 45 & pair it with a classic (or forgotten) 45 from the St Louis music scene of yesteryear, finding similarities & differences & maybe discoveringing some sort of underlying St Louis-ness about the things this city has spawned, both great & small.

Martin Meyer, the mastermind behind Lumpy & the Dumpers, continues his rapid-release schedule with another assault on the ears & eyes of slime punks worldwide, his 2nd solo release under the Cal & the Calories name. The two songs here are lo-fi, distorted, crude, & ridiculously catchy. The vocals walk right up to the line of “too annoying” & then make fun of the fact that anyone could possibly think that anything could be “too annoying.” The extra “Ahssss!” spit out as a coda to Side Two’s “Pain In My Ass” is the sort of touch that seems dumb, & sounds dumb, & IS dumb, but ties the whole record together & pushes it into dumb genius territory. Keep ’em comin’!

And where would lo-fi sludge rock about asses be in St Louis without the pioneering work of the Strangulated Beatoffs? Released in 1990 during the Beatoffs’ own initial burst of recordings, the “Lick My Butthole/Broken Nose” 45 finds them trudging through distorted grooves too slow for punk, too ugly for metal, too Midwest-weird for grunge, existing in their own world for their own amusement & so much the better for it. The dabblings into trance & sound collage & Genesis covers would come later, but for a brief, shining moment, the Strangulated Beatoffs were one of the dumbest bands in the world, & they were ours!

Cal & The Calories-Bastard In A Yellow Suit

Strangulated Beatoffs-Lick My Butthole

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